Not looking forward to breaks anymore

I have one simple word as to why I won't be anticipating those days off anymore: death. Tuesday, March 30th at about 9:30 at night, my uncle Jim died. His funeral was Saturday at 10:30(a day before Easter, that ruins the break big time) in Milford and I was not excited to go. My sister and mom cried like much of the other family members, but I wasn't able to. Shows how heartless I am if I can't shed a single tear at a relative's funeral. I mean, I wanted to cry because I've known him all my life, but I just couldn't. Some people might know what that feels like, right? As for summer, My grandma died almost nine years ago, May 22 and that was on the last day of my third grade year. Then about six years ago on St. Patrick's Day a great uncle of mine died and his wive died about two years later around Easter time as well. If this is how it's going to be, I'm not even going to anticipate break time anymore. It seems as though my relatives tend to die between the time when winter turns to spring and gets closer to summer. I wish people didn't die, but that's only a selfish wish on my part.